Mejor Sola Que Mal Acompañada

You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them
I'll walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again. xoxo- TSWIFT

Because you're mine, I walk the line....or do I?

I have always found myself sitting next to one of my friends trying to consult them in attempts to make them happy. It's always the same old story about a boyfriend who lies and cheats. I think it's terrible. What kind of world do we live in? When I was little everyone had a happily ever after and according to my mother people only had sex with one person and that person was their husband/wife.

I'm pretty sure this mind set was still with me even up to my junior year in high school. Then reality hit and I realized that guys/girls lie, cheat, hurt and then continuously lie. Just be honest for crying out loud.

As the years have passed by not only has my knowledge and account of cheaters and liars in this world grown but so has my family. I apparently have two other "families" thanks to my beloved family who has a tendency to have children outside of marriage. From my mom's side of the family, she is the only one who is still married and happily married. The other seven have managed to marry, divorce, remarry or find that "comfort" outside of the holy matrimony. Thanks to them I have cousins, aunts, uncles and little ones in the U.S., Ecuador, Chile, Germany and Italy. (note that these are the ones that my mom knows about)

It's time for a FIESTA!!!

San Antonio is located about 45 minutes from Austin. Depends on how fast you can drive and what day you are driving down.... I have always been a fan of San Antonio. I think it's a beautiful city and I have always referred to it as "little mexico." It is one of the few developed cities where you can go just about anywhere and you will find someone who can speak Spanish.
Last Saturday my parents called me to ask what I was doing during the day so I told them I had plans with an old friend and then I had work. My lack of spending time with them made me give in to their plans and off to San Antonio we went. My dad had wanted to go to the Annual Fiesta that they have so see what all the talk was about. Half-awake and completely exhausted from the night before off we went to San Antonio in hopes of a good ol' adventure with my family.
Upon getting there and turning into down town San Antonio we found that the place was completely packed. There were people walking everywhere and they were all very festive looking with colorful hats and flowers on their heads. Even though it may just seem that San Antonio wants to party all the time, Fiesta is actually a very important event for the fellow San Antonians around. It includes their past and how they came to be the wonderful city that they are now. It is definitely a must on your to-do list.

We stumbled into the Cathedral which happens to be very pretty from the outside. The inside really lacked originality and color but the outside was looking pretty good. Inside there was a wedding going on, so maybe that's why I didn't really get a chance to explore much. The feel of the city is very unique. It doesn't have the feel that Austin has about being "hip and weird" but it has a more traditional kind of atmosphere. They'be both favorites but they're both very different indeed.

We found where the Fiesta Festival was at and adventured in. The place was packed. There were so many people and live music. There were little vendors outside selling Agua Fresca and food so I was a happy child. I snuck away to eat a taco while my parents checked out the shopping and my mom bought a ring. Go figure. We ended up eating at Mi Tierra which was delicious but waiting 45 minutes for a table is ridiculous. We went to the bar first while we waited and I eagerly stared at my parents drinks while I enjoyed my water with lemon. yay!

We finally left so I could make it to work by 6:30. I was tired, filled and sun-burned but it was a good day and I was able to spend a full day with my family.

Give Me One Reason to Stay Here

When I was in high school it seemed as though whoever you dated or "talked" to had a past that you already knew about. If you didn't know about their past, well someone did and that someone would tell you everything you needed to know. Every guy that I would even come close to talking to in high school would also come with a wave of gossiping, tattle-taling and an eager ex-girlfriend willing to tell you everything you wanted to or didn't want to know. Better yet, it seemed as though it was easier to dislike a guy than it was to like a guy after you found out everything you could. This made dating in high school really lame. It was the reason why the last year of my high school years was also one of the worst years when it came to gossiping and mean girls.

Well what about now? I am 20  years old and single. I like to go out and have fun and meet new people. I'm certain when I was born God said "Let this one be a friendly one," and so I have a natural talent to meet people and befriend them. It has been the reason behind most of my stories and adventures. 

Well last week I was out enjoying dinner in Austin with my friend and we were sharing stories of guys we had either talked to at one point or dated before. Since my previous boyfriends all came from my high school years well it wasn't that hard to describe them. Everyone who attended Hays High School is pretty much the same. Well what about the guys I meet now? I feel a bit intimidated by them because I do not know the person they were before. I don't know if they ever loved another girl before or if he's known for being a bad or good boyfriend. I don't know who their prom date was or if they ever went to prom. I don't know if they come from a good family or if they even have a family. This whole "not knowing" business tends to make me queasy feeling and not very comfortable around them.

Then about two days ago I realized that I was in the wrong. I remembered what it was like to be able to be with someone who you really felt happy with and to know that as important as the past may be it is still the past and what is important is what I put into the future. 

So maybe the guy who makes you completely happy now is that guy who you were mean to in high school. Maybe the guy who is helping you at the bank is that guy who you never wanted to talk to in class. Perhaps your lawyer or real estate agent are the guys who always got the best grades in class and hardly talked. Perhaps the guy who you have fallen in love with now is the nerdy, smelly, annoying boy who you would have never looked at in high school. But what's important is that that guy who he used to be has become into the man who just wants to make you as happy as you can be and that's the kind of thing that makes my heart melt. The past does come back from time to time for some people, but when it comes to love and finding your happiness I think that what counts the most is being utterly happy at that moment with that person. Who cares who you were in the past? 

I'm interested in finding the person within you that will make me as happy as possible. 

My favorite Don Juan

About two weeks ago my car decided to break down, as usual, and I had no one to rescue me. I called Amanda and she said she was on her way to get me so I wouldn't be stuck in Austin all day long. After sitting there helplessly and cursing the name of Ford it decided to start up and it was running! I went straight home and called Amanda to tell her she didn't have to go get me anymore. Due to the troubles that she went through and because I love food I told her I would take her out to eat breakfast one day. That day was today. I decided that since she is now living in Buda that she eat something that is more Buda like. A little run down place called Casa Alde which I went to throughout my high school years. Well they're closed on Tuesday so phoooey. It put a damper in my morning and we pondered on where we could eat. As much as I like to pretend I'm American I'm not a fan of eating pancakes outside my home and the only waffles that make me happy are from Waffle House and those are rare to come by. After nulling out every idea that came to my mind Amanda suggested Juan in a Million. I had never been there so off we went to Juan in a Million. I had never been there but I had heard of it from friends and The Travel Channel.

 A 40 minute drive later and we are now on the east side of I35 on Cesar Chavez. It's not the U.S. over there. The streets look different, the homes are built different, the drivers in the cars stare at you and honk rudely and it even smells different down there. We arrived to the restaurant and we parked in the back and went on in. My first impression of the place was that it looks pretty shady so hopefully that means the food must be good. It's an East Austin Favorite from what I had heard from many so eagerly we walked in. Amanda had been here before several times so she wasn't as interested as I was. I'm pretty sure she was just really hungry. 

The place looks pretty rough from the inside but I think it adds a bit of style to it. As much as I love food I also don't appreciate dropping 30 dollars for one meal on it as well so as I looked at the menu I realized I had come to the right place. While everything seemed intriguing I had to get the Don Juan. It was shown on Man vs. Food Challenge on the Travel Channel and well I had to get it. The guy next to me had a margarita and was finishing up his tacos and I was very jealous. I know it was only 10:30 A.M. but yet I still really wanted one and more because I can't get one. Just 5 more months!!! Moving on... When I came back from the bathroom my food was already there and The Don Juan was HUGE!!!! I just looked at it and I'm certain my blood pressure went up. 

 I made just about one taco out of this and took the rest in a to-go box. I was feeling a bit weird this morning so I didn't each much but what I did eat was delicious. The tortillas are toasted so they're a bit crunchy and warm, the potatoes are perfectly blended in with the bacon and cheese and they have a spice in it which blended it all together to perfection. Amanda had ordered two tacos and had managed to tackle one of them and the other one she was taking home. I asked for the check and for both of us it came out to $11.88. 

Awesome. 

Overview of the place: cheap food, good food, fast service, family owned and delicious. It's the perfect hole in the wall for the Austinite in everyone. The neighborhood may be a bit intimidating but what's a good meal if it doesn't involve a little bit of adventure with it? 

http://www.juaninamillion.com/

Running to the Future with You Right By My Side

In the past two weeks I have found myself in the midst of marriages, proposals, pregnancies and new babies! As excited as I am for all of my friends to have their life in place and finally have found their happily ever after I also feel like I'm romance-handicapped. It's as though I was an all-star back in high school and then after being in a relationship for two years I have lost it. Or maybe I'm just not looking?  Whatever it may be I feel as though I am the oddball in this one. I'm more involved in school, adventuring, and my friends. I see girls who are pregnant or already have babies and I want one so bad. Every time I see them and think that in my head, I have to take a step back and realize that as much as I may want a new baby or an adorable toddler I can't even take care of myself at times. I sleep like 3 hours in one night and then drink enough caffeine to keep China awake, I always drive myself into trouble and my open/uncensored mind has managed to get me in some kind of dispute with people constantly. I have finally managed to learn how to cook delicious meals! But other than that I am not prepared for a child. All the girls who I see pregnant now seem to have led the same life as I did right up to their pregnancy. So does that mean that all these girls are now completely changing their lives? Does it mean that they no longer urge to go out to dance all night? What about their boyfriends or husbands? Do they know that those men will be the one for them for the rest of their lives or have they just settled? The average age of a woman when she first gets married is 25 years old in the U.S. In France it's 29 years old and in Sweden it's 30 years old. Are women in France pickier than women in the U.S? Do women in France take their relationships longer until they know they are ready to be in a relationship? Or are women in the U.S. more free-willed and willing to start a family fast? Maybe it's the land of opportunity feel that the U.S gives to everyone where they believe that anything is possible in this land.  If  you look a little further though the U.S. has a 45.8% divorce rate as of 2010. Whereas France has a 38.1% divorce rate. So maybe just as I am feeling like an outcast in the society that I am in, perhaps every other woman feels the same. Maybe we are all just following a trend that will lead us all to proposals, marriages, babies and unfortunately a divorce in the end. I don't mean to be the debbie downer in the situation but statistics are against us. Until I have found a happily ever after I will continue with my lifestyle and my beliefs in marriage and babies. My closest friends and I have all decided we have to have babies at the same time just so they can grow up together as well. Adorable! If things get out of hand here and babies are popping left and right well then I'll just go live in France. It's always been a dream of mine to travel the world when I'm young and settle down when I'm actually prepared to be a mommy. I would only want the best for my children and I could only do that when I have my life in complete zen.
Au Revoir!

Cop lights, flash lights, spot lights, strobe lights, street lights.

My Michael Vick attempt. 

When I was fifth grade my best friend, Amanda, had a birthday party. This was around the time that Ms. Congeniality had come out and beauty pageants were all the craze. Every one wanted to be Sandra Bullock and all of us were very excited to put on prom dresses and make up. Of course her birthday party had to consist of a beauty pageant. We've come a long way from then. I'll let you in on our costume party we had last night in just a bit. Continuing with Amanda's party- Amanda, Jenn, Megan, Ashton and myself were all there. Sorry if I forgot someone....it was a long time ago and I have no pictures to recollect memories from. I was Miss Florida and for my talent I sang to Nelly Furtado's Turn off the Lights. It was a train wreck into an oil rig. Need I say more? Well Amanda will never let me live that down and last night I was thinking about this. I thought last night that it would be really funny if I decided to pull a prank on my friends and turn off the lights and then run to the corner and hide with Amanda under the couch as we both laughed uncontrollably. What am I, eight? I would say twelve... But I had a blast and I was happy that even after so long I can still keep pulling pranks and jokes on my friends and they're still there. Like my mom has always told me, I've always been the instigator of trouble I just tend to get away with what I do with a smile and all is forgiven.

Ke$ha?

Soooooo let the party begin! Sarah Maria had her 19th birthday party last night!! whooop whooop! After a long week and having to do so much at last minute especially poor Jenn and Amanda it all came through.  Amanda went as Ke$ha; Jennifer went as the infamous Miley Cyrus and yes, she's infamous; Sarah was an extremely seductive Cat Woman; and I was a football player. I tried my hardest to look like a real football player but all I got out of it was "cute". I can't complain much seeing that I got pulled over that night and I'm certain my outfit and pig tails saved me from getting a ticket. Thank the lord I'm a girl! I'm happy so many people showed to it and we all had fun. Birthdays have always been special days for me. When I was little I would start counting down for my birthday 6 months in advance. I still kind of do that I'm just not as nagging as I was before. My parents have to love me and accept me even when I remind them of my birthday everyday for the next 180 days. With my friends, I'll start the count down in July!

Untamed. 

I think birthdays are one of those things that are almost religious to me. I love birthdays. They're the kind of things that I love to go all out for. I will buy balloons and makes cakes and just do just about anything just to keep the special day as special as it can be.If you are my friend and I love you then what better day to express all that love then on the day you were born? Without that day, you would have never existed and without your existence I would have never been as happy as I am now that I have you by my side. It's a special day. It's a day where you look at the birthday boy/girl and remember just how much that person has changed your life. Then you realize that on that exact day however many years ago that person was born and now they've made it into your life to make you and keep you happy. This is why I love birthdays. It's a constant reminder of all the people I love and make me happy in life and I would love to return all the happiness. There are 340,500 births a day around the world. That means that each day your probabilities of finding happiness or meeting someone who will make you happy grows each day. Should people still be sad in the world then?

 Of course, life gets shitty every now and then. But I think with so many births a day, love should be up in the air more often and being happy is no longer a choice or an option; it's an essential part of our lives. We all deserve to be happy. So just as I was ecstatic about Sarah's birthday and her birthday celebrations; I am just as ecstatic about everyone who is celebrating a birthday today, tomorrow or soon. Just  as I did not know Sarah up until this year, maybe happiness is out there you just haven't been to enough birthday parties to find it yet.

This one is to you Miss Sarah!!! Happy Birthday, babygirl!! 

Quiero lavar en el mar lo que no sea futuro.

This weekend so far has been amazing and I cannot wait to write all about it and Sarah's birthday celebrations but first I have to write about something that makes me feel queasy from time to time. Some weeks ago I really liked a guy. This was something kind of new for me. After I ended my 2 year relationship with Nicholas I felt as though no matter who I met, I didn't like them or something was wrong with them. For a while I was certain something was wrong with me. I would have great guys right in front of me but yet I felt nothing, I felt no spark and no sort of interest in any of them. I would come up with the dumbest excuses for why they just weren't the right one for me or even worth my time. I even threw a fit and was really upset when this guy who I was on a date with did not know who Stevie Ray Vaughan was. I felt insulted and decided I couldn't talk to the guy anymore. Sounds real immature now that I look at it again but I can be childish from time to time.

But then something happened. I didn't really meet a new guy it was just this one guy who I had known for a while and had a very childish crush on. He's by far not my type and not someone I would haver ever seen myself liking but there's something there that has always caught my eye. Well it just kind of all sparked together at once and burned beautifully. It was like a sparkler. It lit up quick and emitted colorful flames and sparks everywhere. It burned real hot and it made me happy. For the first time I felt as though what I had found was all in my hands and I could control it and let it make me happy but then just like every good sparkler it died down and didn't spark back up and it won't ever spark back up. 

I felt really dumb. I should have known better because I knew from the start before I made the leap of actually trying something new that I was going to get hurt. It was a bad circumstance and it was just doomed to not happen unless we both really wanted it, and clearly we both didn't. Maybe we did but the mess and difficulty that it would have been was too much to handle. Him and I were like the USC 2006 football team; they were a great team it was just a bad season. Bad timing, bad season and BAD,BAD,BAD decisions. 

To make a long boring story short I was sad when I kind of realized that nothing was going to come from it. I'm a sucker for love stories, happy endings, babies and true love. When you get your hopes up high, how do you recover from falling down? For the first time since Nicholas I kind of really liked someone again and it made me happy to feel butterflies and all that fun jazz again. I felt like a teenager again who got really happy and smiled way too often when I was around this guy. I found out what it was like to feel stupid again. To find myself texting this person before I text other people and wanting to just be around them. Then just out of the blue reality hit and he realized it wasn't something that would work out and I realized it too. As sad and angry as I might have been then now I'm kind of happy. I was able to experience what it was like to actually like someone again and realize that there is a chance for finding happiness and love again. It also made me think that I should not go for something/someone that I know will make me unhappy in the long-run. I knew that if I wanted to actually date this guy that it wasn't going to work out but I let my lust and childish crush get in the way of my mind and I just decided to be stupid about the whole situation. It's all good now and the sparks gone and I don't want to mess with it again. I realized before I would get butterflies in my tummy and knots in my throat whenever I was around him and now it's all gone. Before I thought there was potential for something beautiful and now I know that's not true and I grew up in the whole situation. 

Most importantly I realized that love and feeling happy isn't a once in a life time kind of situation. It's still out there, you just can't be sitting around hoping it hits you someday. It's something you find within yourself and then someone else finds it in you and falls in love with it. So what do you do? Do you let your emotions fly out and take the consequences that may come from it or do you stop and think clearly of what you're about to do? Do you risk everything you have for being with someone who you have a hot fire with or do you just let things run its course and attempt to be happy as your life is? Or do you put on your big girl pants on and decide that if you want something you go out and get it? I think I'll continue to wear my big girl pants and be really honest. If you want it, go and get it. If it doesn't stick around to the end well then go find something new. There's plenty of love out there, you just have to get past all the mistakes so you know you've found perfection. The perfection that completes you and stays with you.
 I don't want a sparkler I want some of those trick candles that no matter how hard someone tries to get rid of the spark it's still shining bright. The ones where when you think it's about to burn out, it never does. 

James and the Giant Peach

This one is simple and forward.
1. I ran today!!!! 
2. Summer is in the air:)
3. I had a delicious peach today and I can't wait to go peach picking again and eating a pound of peaches.
4. I hereby promise to layout at least twice a week starting next week.

Peach picking last summer out
in Fredericksburg

The Driskill Grill

What started of as a girl's usual Tuesday night out to yoga ended up being an adventure for Amanda and I. After some mishaps and a bad case of unfortunate events, Amanda and I ended up walking down sixth street to cool off some steam and to just talk about life a little bit. Every day keeps getting better for both of us but sometimes I feel like just like I do she has hard times and it's normal. Life just gets shitty sometimes and you need a good walk and some delicious hot chocolate to make you feel better. Seeing that I have the soul and heart of a gypsy I told her that we had to go to the Driskill Grill to get some of their world famous hot chocolate. Being the best friend that she is, she accepted my wish and off we went. For those who don't know about Austin the Driskill Hotel is the fancy pants hotel located on sixth street. It's where all the romantic Austin weddings take place and it's the type of place you go to when you feel like getting in touch with your Victorian self as you drop 300 bucks a night for a room. As pricey as it may be, the place is beautiful and I hope to spend a night in it soon.

Amanda and I weren't given the most welcoming looks as we walked in there but I don't blame them. I was sporting slide on Sperry's with black Nike shorts, a grey TriDelt t shirt and a cut up sweater. Nothing matched and I was planning on getting my yoga on, not going to the fancy pants Grill and Bakery. But whatever, my love for food is pretty high up so I demanded a table for two.
After waiting around for my waitress to actually realize that we exist  I got the dessert menu and everything sounded delicious. I ordered a chocolate croissant with a hot chocolate and Amanda ordered a cinnamon roll with hot chocolate as well. The service was pretty speedy and as soon as our food got there I would have to say they weren't lying. It was delicious. Everyone should try it out. I think the presentation kind of sucked and it kind of looked like a whataburger cinnamon roll but the flavor made up for it. My chocolate croissant was delicious and the hot chocolate is in the top three best hot chocolates I have ever had.
More than anything I just think it was nice to be enjoying a nice afternoon snack with Amanda and just talking about anything and everything. I'm determined that we spend a night in that hotel and go out to sixth street that night. I can't wait to be 21 and I wish I was a food critic. That would be the perfect career for me. My heart and tummy would be happy. The night ended with our happy tummies and eventually all of us were happy after a good walk and some Barbra Streisand records. Happy happy Tuesday.

http://www.driskillgrill.com/contact-us.php

How does it feel to know that I love you?

Today is my grandpa's birthday. He turned 83 years old and as happy as that may make me it doesn't spark any sort of interest me. It's more of like "oh yay! tell him I said have a good one...." I understand he is my grandpa but he is more of a stranger than anything. I feel like I would be more compelled and driven to buy my boss a present for her birthday. It sounds selfish but I hardly know him. He's 83 years old and I have seen him a total of like 10 times my whole life. I never had the normal family where we all got together on birthdays, Christmases or Easter. It's always been mom, dad, David and myself. I feel like a complete bitch for saying this but it is true. When we go back to Ecuador to visit them I try as hard as possible to not be left alone with any family member other than like my cousins or my uncle Santiago. Everyone else makes me feel uncomfortable and as though I am with a stranger but I'm not. But that is what they are. They are my kin and my family but they are also strangers to me. I don't think it's fair. I know that when I get married and such I would want to include them but I don't think they deserve that. I have a family filled with aunts, uncles, cousins and babies but they do not belong to me.
When my parents decided that David and I should grow up in the U.S instead of Ecuador they did it for our own good but they kind of ruined the organic way of growing up. As I got older I realized that I never had anyone other than them. It made me grow closer to them but I don't know what it is like to have a grandparent or aunt/uncle to go to when my parents won't listen to me. I don't know what it is like to have a family dinner that consists of more than 4 people and I wish I did.

Freezing in Quito

Take 1

Take 2

As I was at dinner today I realized that I want my children to have that. I want to be able to tell them "let's go to grandma's for dinner" I don't want to have to plan 6 months in advance and fly 3000 miles to get to grandmas house only to find a stranger. I find it hard to be emotionally attached or to emotionally relate to someone who was never there for me when I was growing up. I know the circumstances made it that way but those same circumstances are what make me who I am now. If it weren't for the fact that we moved to the U.S. to grow up I would probably be living in Ecuador and married. I would have never been able to go to a pretty University or to travel to all the countries I have been to with my parents. I guess you can say I sacrificed my past and my heritage just to make a better future for myself. I love Ecuador with all my heart and I will always refer to it as home. But all those family members living there are nothing more than a bunch of people who are really happy to see me for 2 weeks every year or so. I love them because I feel like I should but they really aren't mine. The only family members that I think will be in my life till I die are my little cousins. I am in the midst of getting them visas so they can come visit me here. They always call me and I love them for how hard they attempt to be in my life.

Take 3:)

Break those chains that bind you

Pretty much my best guy friend in high school and he took a big
leap with the girl he liked and I respect him for it. Meet Cameron:) 

Everyone has one. And not everyone wants one. Scary, huh? Well it can be at one point but to most people it only gets to the annoying stage and then it tends to fade away. I'm talking about that one guy or girl that has an ungodly crush or interest in you which causes them to be annoying. Of course, at first a little bit of flirting and praise is nice even flattering but after you show no sort of progression in the friendship well things should end. Is this fair though? These people are constantly being labeled as "annoying" but think of it from the other person's perspective or better yet, view it from another angle as a third person seeing this. Feelings aren't really something that you can control. Yes you chose who you want to be around with and who you talk to but sometimes when cupid strikes he might just get you real good without you knowing. Then what do you do? Do you quit? Do you just throw the towel and say "No, she doesn't like me like that?" I say no. I believe that you should give it a shot. Be honest and don't beat around the bush. What good is a conversation if you're only saying every other word that you truly mean? Nonsense. Just say it all; worst case scenario you get a broken heart. Big whoopdidoo. Odds are it's not even a broken heart. You'll just be sad because the person you kind of started to like just told you that well you're not the one for them. You'll listen to some Journey, Al Green, Aerosmith and Alanis Morisette if you're really angry about the whole situation.
The truth in all of this is that you cannot grow up and mature unless you endure hardships. It's kind of shitty but it's also true. If you live in a sugar-coated world, well you're bound to be diabetic eventually and then you have no choice but to see things how they really are. No one wants to hit that wall of reality when they're too old. So all I think is that you should take a risk and go for a person you like even if you think it's impossible; be persistent because it might work out at the end. Just don't get to the creepy/stalker stage and life is good. Enjoy everyday and  when times get tough well I say stick to your girls and it's all good.