Another rainy day in Austin Texas

About a year ago when I was still with Nicholas, we were driving to his parents office in Buda. He knew a short cut which went the back way so we wouldn't have to loop around through Buda to get to the office. At that time they were building these new apartments there and in my head I thought, "who would want to move to Buda to live in an apartment?" Little did I know that my childhood best friend would soon be living there along with miss Jenn. It is one of those twists in turns in life where something that you never thought could happen, happened. When I left Del Valle I never thought that my relationships with my old friends would continue. I figured it was doomed to deteriorate and I guess I just accepted that as it was and moved on. Now I am happy to have found again two of the more amazing people out there whom I feel completely comfortable with. Turns out those Buda apartments which I made fun of about a year ago are now my favorite place to be at. I like how things trickled into place for us. It makes me wonder about the rest of my life and how maybe I already met my husband.... I just don't know it yet. Scary. Moving on.

http://hutsfrankandangies.com/

Any who, I thought of this as I drove through that same back road to pick up Amanda and Jenn to go to dinner and yoga along with Sarah. This had become a weekly ritual of us to stuff our faces and then move on to yoga. Due to the fact that my friends no longer trust my food taste and suggestions we went to Frank & Angies off of sixth street. It was Amanda's choice and a good one. We stuffed our faces and enjoyed a huge greasy pizza. While the tiny little shack looking place intimidated me at first I was reminded of how tasty shacked up places can be. These pictures do not serve the place justice therefore I have put the link on here so it can be researched with more care. I need to remind myself to carry around my camera for occasions like these. 

Sarah can't wait to eat the pizza! 

Grease, grease, GREASE!!!!

We went down a street to yoga only to find that the 8:30 class filled up at 8:15. Awesome. I refused to go to night cap yoga because well I just don't enjoy yoga unless it's hot yoga. Instead I convinced my friends that we should walk to Whole Foods to buy more strawberries. Delightful that they listened to me we went on. There I was reminded of what it is to eat healthy and love your body while your pocket suffers. After walking around, staring at the pastries and reminding ourselves of how much we should appreciate our bodies more we decided that tomorrow, Thursday, we have to go grocery shopping for healthier food. This being my expertise I am delighted to help them out. I sometimes wonder if I should become a nutritionist or not. I feel like I would hate myself eventually if I did that. But then again, who knows? I find it funny how life always twists and turns on you. I remember the first time I went to that Whole Foods or the first time that I met Amanda. I never thought that like 12 years later I would still be best friends with her. Beautiful, but kind of scary at the same time.
Now, the four of us seem to be having something pretty good going on. I have found peace and happiness with the girls who accept me for every bit of ridiculousness that I hold in me. Later on that night while at Amanda's and Jenn's apartment I realized something. In the midst off all these wars, essays, parents and stupid boys I always know that my friends willl be there for the long-haul. We jokingly tried to guess which one of us would be the first one married and I cannot wait to see who it is. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a killer for happy endings or maybe just because weddings consist of dressing up, eating, drinking and taking lots of pictures. The four things that I love in life alongside with the three girls that I am happy to have found again. And to that I take another sip of my drink to the belief that best friends stick around till the end.
Even on rainy days when walking to school turns into a disaster.

Cómo quisiera guardarte en un cajón

I walked into the library today with a bit of worry. As I walked out of the library about five minutes earlier I caught the glimpse of an old memory. From the corner of my eye I saw the shadow of hate, guilt and happiness standing besides me. It was an old boyfriend's ex girlfriend. She was the reason why this boy and I had broken up years ago and I had completely forgotten about her and everything that she did. I went to fill up my water bottle and waited around for like 4 minutes in hopes that she had left by then. I walked back inside to sit at my seat only to see my friend at the end of the library reading her book. It was the same book that I was reading so I went to go sit by her.
As happy as she sounded to see me her face said otherwise. Immediately she blurted out what a horrible night she had had. After having the weekend of her dreams with her boyfriend, she came back home only to get messages from his ex-girlfriend. Of course, like every loyal girlfriend, she dismissed what this girl was saying and continued on to believe her boyfriend's word over hers. It was only until the other girl explained to her that she was not lying and forwarded messages from him to her and then went in detail to describe how his room looked like and details that could only be known if she had been at his house.
And this is the part where you're spinning a million miles per second and you're getting pulled in every direction possible. Her heart fell.
She questioned him and demanded to know the truth and he only responded by denying it and claiming that he should have more trust with him. She pushed that he should not be texting his ex-girlfriend and he ignored what she believed. He claimed that she should trust him more and that nothing is going on.
Now there, SOMETHING IS GOING ON. It's a fact now. It is impossible for this girl to be making up all of this and plus there is factual information from the emails that she forwarded on to my friend.
I sat there trying to figure out what I should tell her and how to ease her pain in the whirlwind of pain that she is spiraling among. As I sat there soaking in all of this and attempting to find the right words to share with her I saw that old shadow again. She was sitting like 50 feet away and looked happy; for the first time since I had known her, she was happy and it made me happy as well. I then remembered that I too at one point was in friend's shoes. The previous ex-boyfriend which I talked about had indeed cheated on me and it was rumored around school but I dismissed it and stayed with him. Even when the girl told me that he had cheated on me with her I refused to believe it and I stuck strong by his side. Him and I luckily broke up after only 3 months of dating because the girl whom he "did not cheat on me" had an attempted suicide and it was best that we took our separate ways for her to be okay. It broke my heart but I accepted it as it was. I never saw the girl again and him and I are now just friends. Now this girl was sitting so close to me and she was happy as I was happy to see how life turned out to be. It has been 3 years since him and I dated and just a couple of months ago he finally admitted that he had indeed cheated on me. Ridiculous.
It is not that fact that he cheated what angers me the most but the fact that people lie. Why must there not be just utter honesty in the world? I believe that less hearts would be broken and more people would live happier if this was so. He lied to me which led me to have a broken heart thinking that our relationship could not continue due to this girl's life and health. He could have just said from the start, "hey, I like you but I also like her and I'm going to cheat." Of course I would have broken up with him but it would have stopped things from the start. He dragged her around and fooled around with her only to make her believe that they still had a chance to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Lies, lies, lies.
As I clicked back to reality my friend sat there sad and broken so I

shared my story with her. I asked her what would she do now and she said that if he will not admit it then there really is nothing that she can do. That she will just have to push it out of her mind and move on with it and continue with him because she loves him. I did not judge her or tell her to do otherwise but I told her that she cannot let him do it again. This made me sad. Is this what women have turned out to be now? Are we left to be tools of pleasure and affection only when men need us? And then after giving up our hearts is our only path for us to be by their side? When do we say that our hearts are more valuable then the idea of having the "perfect boyfriend"? When do we become women again and push away the idea of being just a girlfriend? I think now is the time. I do not think that women should let themselves be fooled around and let to drag on on false statements. I think that we should all take one lesson with us each day and that is honesty. If you love someone, tell them. If you hate someone, also express your feelings. Do not let the belief of what is "wrong and right" in society to let dictate what you want in life. Women and men everywhere deserve to be happy but only if this happiness is rooted from pure truth and honesty.
So yell out what you feel and say it loud because those who feel the same way will always be listening.

Eres para mi, me lo ha dicho el viento.

Before I eased into bed last night I realized that there was a Sex and the City marathon going on on E!, ecstatically I decided to watch it. It was the episode where Carrie decides that she will be going to Paris with the Russian in order to stay with him and because for once in her life she decided that she wanted to live it and be happy with nothing to hold her back. I thought about my life and my friends' lives as well. What is happiness? Better yet, is happiness brought upon you by another individual? Do you need the constant reminder and love of another person to remind you that you are happy? In my case, I would say that about a year ago that would be the case. Now I have learned what it is like to be happy on my own and allow others to share this uprising happiness that I wish to spread around.

Is it the fact that you are happy make you feel good or does having someone that makes you feel good remind you that you must be happy? And how happy are you with them? Is it to the extent that you know you will spend the rest of your life with them? If that's not the case, then why are you still with someone who you know will only be temporarily? Seeing that I am 20 and in the midst of figuring out the rest of my life, I have to say that I chose to fall in love with someone simply because I want to feel loved and make the best I can of my life right now before I find the person I'll spend the rest of my life with. I believe everyone is on a journey to a neverland where love reigns.  Until then, I chose to have fun and love my life.